Sunday, December 11, 2011

Dear Fucking Everyone,

Hi everyone. I couple things I'd like all you motherfuckers to stop doing, thanks.

1. Stop telling me, "hope all is well!" or, "hope all is great!" Fuck you. If you think that anything in my life is going "well" or possibly "great" you are so deeply out of touch with reality, I don't want your crazy-town anywhere near me.

2. Do no tell me what things are or are not "worthwhile" regarding how I spend my time. Please withhold your judgment from my life.

3. If you say you are going to call me, motherfucking call me. I don't like to sit around and wait for you to call. Most likely, I don't really want to talk to you anyways. Perhaps I should just tell people to stop calling me altogether, since they never call and I don't want to talk to them in the first place.

4. This is just a general tip for everyone in every situation they are in - Do not talk incessantly. If there is nothing interesting to talk about, there is no need to discuss the precise times of day you change your layers of clothes, or the intricacies of walking down the street with an umbrella. No one cares.

On the flip side, if someone is talking, don't interrupt. It's fucking rude, and both of the things we have to say are likely equally unimportant, so wait your fucking turn.