Friday, March 5, 2010

Thinking is hard.

I've been thinking, which is usually not a good thing. It's much easier to go through life with all it's wonderful points without thinking about the hard things, and it's easier to manage the hard things without thinking about how it could be better. Currently, I think my situation is pretty good, if not a bit static. I've mended some broken relationships, and made several new ones, which for me is a pretty big thing. I've learned a thing or two about accountability in the past year, which has really helped me actualize myself to this point in time. I've also learned something about fear, of the unknown mostly. Not the greater, god or no god, why are we here kind of unknown - I've come to terms with all that for the time being. But, it's fear of MY unknown. The future is now - and every thing I do at every moment impacts my future, even if it's only negligible. So how then do I know which actions will effect my future the way I want it to? Before I answer that question, I have to answer the question: What do I want? What do I want from life? From a career? From my family and friends? From myself? How does one go about answering these questions - you can't very well just make a list in an attempt to quantify the aspects of meaningful life and then sort them from most important to least. So, that's what I'm thinking about. Currently, I don't have any answers. But I do know that the sun was shining today, and that made me smile. And that's good enough for now. :)

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