Things I did today: Went to work and had a headache all morning. Boo. Filmed some cats to get ready for our black Friday special next week. That was good, but I had a setting on the camera that made all the footage underexposed. It will require some serious fiddling to fix. Then, big news. After work I met with nurse Sami in Capitol Hill (after infuriating traffic). We had a nice time. She's nice. I hope to see her again. I tried my hardest not to be too depressing and talk about myself the whole time. Hmm.
Our piano. My piano. Our piano.To do tomorrow: Seal release. It's going to be so damn cold. Nap. Drinks with Jill, Matt and Ben? I need to go get some waterproof shoes at Fred Meyer - they are having a sale. I don't want to miss it. I heard about it on the radio. Who am I?
I miss Simon. I have so much to tell him. I read somewhere that after loss, people will sometimes experience a loss in their faith, to which I said, "No problem, not applicable". But, I am feeling less certain about my world view - which doesn't have room for afterlife, spirits, some metaphysical idea of "souls". But I SO DESPERATELY WANT some part of Simon to be with me, I find myself questioning my beliefs and hoping that I've been wrong all this time, and that Simon's floaty spirit with magical angel wings will follow me around and guide me. I so want him to be with me. Could I have been wrong about everything? Who am I if not my convictions and values?